


Acts of Intimacy

by Gallicenae



Series: Misc Fic Gifts [10]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 01:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12806499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallicenae/pseuds/Gallicenae
Summary: Faith is what brought Cashmere to Cullen, and it is that same faith which takes him away.





	Acts of Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yevon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yevon/gifts).



> Fic for battlecouples on tumblr (Yevon).

The day was supposed to be just like any other when Cashmere rolled out of her bunk in the early morning. She knew her schedule by heart - herbs and poultices would come after breakfast, barrier techniques and defensive magic before lunch, a free hour in the library, and then the rest of training would follow before evening prayers. Cashmere looked forward to it all, glad to have the familiar comfort of a routine, especially when she knew Cullen would be attending evening services in the chapel. 

—-

Their relationship had started out innocent enough, nothing more than a few nods of recognition as the two passed each other on their way to and from the chapel. Then the scheduled duty shifts changed - something the Knight-Commander did to keep his templars on their toes - and Cullen would beckon Cashmere through the chapel door as he held it open for her. Courtesy wasn’t a trait she often associated with the templars of Kinloch Hold, cold politeness perhaps, but never anything more than that. Cullen’s overtures were a surprise, one that softened her apprehensions. When she had thanked him, he had called her by name. From that moment onward, Cashmere’s eyes often strayed to the alcove where the young man stood guard during service.

He was there at other times, of course, kneeling in a silent prayer of his own. Cashmere never interrupted him, understanding the need to express one’s faith without others watching. It was one of her own ways of finding solace and meaning in this place. Rather, she waited patiently in the eaves, tending to the pews and organizing the volumes scattered along the benches. 

“Do you, um,” he cleared his throat. “Do you always organize the chapel after services?”

A smile crossed her lips as she unfolded the upturned corner of a page. “Not always.”

She could tell the silence felt awkward for him, so Cashmere handed him a few copies of the Chant and encouraged him to follow her example. “It will go by quicker if I had some help.”

After that, putting away hymnals while the chantry sisters lit their candles and hung their incense became something of a ritual. No one disturbed them; for all appearances, it looked exactly how it was - a devout mage and templar finding common ground through their faith. The conversations and soft touches that grew from that fertile earth did so under the Maker’s gaze, for none could could say He did not guide their hands.

—-

Needing to find a place for the materials Senior Enchanter Torrin requested she study in preparation for a research proposal, Cashmere detoured to the apprentice dorms after her studies. It wasn’t her usual route, and most of the other apprentices were either on their way to service or in the mess hall for supper. The halls were left empty, the soft soles of her shoes barely scratching at the flagstone floor. 

She opened the door with one hand as the other balanced her books. The few scrolls she carried threatened to shift away with the momentum of pushing the heavy oak forward, and Cashmere held her breath hoping they would stay where they were.

“Careful now.” A gauntlet trapped the paper against the cover of a book and took Cashmere by the arm. The grip was familiar.

“Cullen."

“Hello, there.” His cheeks flushed as she looked up at him. “I, um, I was looking for you.”

Cashmere shifted the books in her arms, glad to have two hands under them again. She walked over to her bunk and deposited the materials on the thin mattress, addressing Cullen over her shoulder as she did so. “You know I attend evening service. You could have found me there.”

She made room for the volumes in her trunk, moving miscellaneous papers and trinkets aside so the space would be more accommodating. 

“No, that’s-” Cullen shifted his feet, checking the empty hallway before closing the door behind him. 

Cashmere always knew he was skittish, but she could tell there was something more to his behavior tonight. He was… afraid. She walked over to him and took his hand, hoping to soothe whatever worries he carried.

“Cullen, is everything alright?”

“No,” he rushed out in a whisper. “Nothing is alright.”

“Would it help if we-”

He cut her off, his hands gripping her shoulders. “It’s going to be tonight. They’re going to take you tonight. They’ll make me…”

She felt a growing sense of dread at the base of her skull, the kind that pricked down along her neck and across her flesh. “What are you saying?”

Cullen swallowed hard, not really sure how he’d manage to get any of the words out. He was to take his vows that evening; their initiations would include each other in a way he wasn’t prepared to face. “Your Harrowing,” he said. “I heard the Knight-Commander. He wants to move up your Harrowing. Tonight.”

“What?” The question fell out of Cashmere’s mouth, heavy against the high-chambered walls of the dormitories. It couldn’t have been true; apprentices weren’t usually harrowed at her age. She hadn’t even begun proper instruction on mana alteration yet. 

“They were planning on taking you to the chamber after services tonight. Lead you away from everyone else as they left so there wouldn’t be any commotion.” 

“But why did you-”

“Come to warn you?” Cullen braced a thumb and forefinger against his brow. “I-I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. I didn’t want to see you in that chamber without any idea of what might happen.”

Cashmere caught the implication. “You’ll be there then?”

He could only nod. The topic had come up once or twice before, but neither had wanted to stand their ground and offer an ultimatum. It wasn’t how their relationship worked. And now that Cullen would be fulfilling his vows as a templar by attending Cashmere’s Harrowing, there was the unspoken realization that what they thought they had would no longer be possible.  
She set her jaw and raised her eyes to meet his. Cashmere knew not every mage came back from their Harrowing, and though she was confident in her abilities, she would never forgive herself if she didn’t take this final moment offered to her. Her hands were gentle as they reached up to embrace Cullen’s jaw, and she pulled him down toward her so they might share a last brief touch of intimacy.


End file.
